Two days after
My back feels a heavy load even as I lay on a comfortable bed. Could it have been the position I was in? Morning is cold as I scramble for my blanket. The person next to me continues to sleep in reckless abandon. I don't have to stop to think. I think of you. My back aches more. My limbs are dull. I lie down some more. Falling asleep last night while James Taylor's concert on DVD was a good idea. Boy, is he old. His bald head doesn't do justice to his sweet baby james face. But that voice is still mellow and soothing.
Remote controls in hand, I power the DVD player and TV. Ok, let me get pass the new songs. I know, I know, it isn't fair. The guy went on tour to promote his new songs, but hey, old hits are going to remain favorites. Even the audience agrees. Look at them middle aged folks. Couples, actually. As the camera crew studies the audience, I could tell this concert was meant for dating old couples reminiscing the good times... the 70s.
"I've seen fire and I've seen rain... I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend. But I always thought that I'd see you again. There's just a few things coming my way this time around..."
No shit.
So, where do I go from here? Nowhere. Live by the day. Focus on other things. No obsessions. Feel the ache for now. Pine if I have to. Cry if I need to. But bear with me. Don't cut me off. Not just yet. Let me enjoy the memories of the joy, and at the same time embrace the sorrows that come after.
As The Prophet spoke:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
... When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. --- Kahlil Gibran
I'll remember those words. And my 150mg Zoloft everyday.
Remote controls in hand, I power the DVD player and TV. Ok, let me get pass the new songs. I know, I know, it isn't fair. The guy went on tour to promote his new songs, but hey, old hits are going to remain favorites. Even the audience agrees. Look at them middle aged folks. Couples, actually. As the camera crew studies the audience, I could tell this concert was meant for dating old couples reminiscing the good times... the 70s.
"I've seen fire and I've seen rain... I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend. But I always thought that I'd see you again. There's just a few things coming my way this time around..."
No shit.
So, where do I go from here? Nowhere. Live by the day. Focus on other things. No obsessions. Feel the ache for now. Pine if I have to. Cry if I need to. But bear with me. Don't cut me off. Not just yet. Let me enjoy the memories of the joy, and at the same time embrace the sorrows that come after.
As The Prophet spoke:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
... When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. --- Kahlil Gibran
I'll remember those words. And my 150mg Zoloft everyday.
posted by Marian "Ylang2" at 8:46 PM
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