One family, a solid institution

Broken family. This is typical cliche' among Filipinos. When parents decide to go separate ways (for varied reasons and conformed decisions), as a consequence their offsprings are confronted by the judgmental society of mostly conservative and double-standard groups or individuals as being "kawawa" (pitiful) or a product of a broken family.

I once dog-eyed and almost slapped a clerk at the DSWD (Department of Social Welfare and Development) office - while applying for some bullshit bureaucratic travel requirement for minor children - after this obvious ignoramus had blatantly referred to my daughter as kawawa. While this stupid process was going on, this woman asked questions pertaining to our family status, and ensuingly the reasons for mine and Ramon's (Paula's dad) marital separation. I retorted that it was not her business to know, but certainly in her interest to be a busybody, for sure!

I have repeated this tale many a different time to clearly make a point. Our children are not, and have never been a product of a broken family, and most certainly NOT pitiful. Although our marriage has been annulled (the legal process of separation that I personally and absolutely abhor because of inconsistency and hypocrisy), Ramon and I no longer husband and wife, we still carry the title of parents to our kids, thus our family remains and will always be.

For one thing, Monching and I have been separated now for 13 years. But estranged we are not. Throughout the years, Paula and her older brother Rael have been maintained conscientiously by us both. Even with opposing views and subjective opinions of family and friends, with their corny but understandable eternal hope - for the children's sake'- of a reconciliation, Monching and I stood fast in our commitment to love and care and continuously be there for our children while acknowledging our now separate lives and individual pursuits. Now extended with a daughter-in-law and two happy, healthy, and beautiful grandchildren, Monching and I flourish again, not just as content parents; this time as proud grandparents.

Family is defined by the American Heritage dictionary as: a. a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children; b. two or more people who share goals and values, have long term commitments to one another who usually reside in one dwelling. While the Filipino society may no longer consider our family as an institution following the dissolution of our marriage, indifferent to its dogmatic beliefs, the Rafael-Narciso family has created its own institution with our own set of rules, custom, practice, relationship, and behavioral pattern of importance in the lives of those who understand, accept, and love each and every one of us.

Recently, we made people smile as we shared the happiness of being together.

Now that's cliche!